Sitting On The Fence

I consider myself an agnostic. Many of the believers and non-believers look upon me as a theocratic fence-sitter, someone too weak to think things through and come to a definite conclusion. Both sides wonder, how can I sit on the fence without it poking me in the ass? If I am sitting on a fence, it isn't a picket fence, or a barbed wired fence. For me it's more of a comfortable vantage point to observe the ones that are on opposite sides of the fence.

I do not mean that I am on a moral high ground at all. I am willing to admit I do not know the answer to the question 'Is there a God?' I do not find fault with any who do have an answer to that question, regardless if it is yes or no. But as an observer, I have noticed that as I look out over one side of the fence and then the other, sometimes it's hard to tell the difference. The rabid believers and rabid non-believers both condemn each other as if what they believed were a provable fact. The fact is that there is no solid, undeniable answer to the question. Either side operates from the side of faith. That statement no doubt brings smiles of agreement to believers, and scowls of disagreement from some athiests. Even a mention of the word 'faith' gets them going. But I don't want to paint all athiests with that brush. As with believers, the non-believers come in all different shapes, sizes and temperments.

As I sit on my perch, every once in a while someone tugs at my leg. Sometimes from one side, sometimes the other. And there are occasions when I hop off my perch and have a visit with some of the folks. But to date I have heard no convincing argument that would cause me to convert. This could be caused by my stubborness I suppose. It's not like I haven't tried. I've given much thought to both philosophies, tried to imagine myself as embracing either, but always there remains nagging doubt. A lack of faith that I readily admit to.

So I'll remain on the fence, thank you. Whether there is or isn't a God, maybe some day I'll know. If there is and it is merciful, or if there is and it is vengeful, either way I'll know. If there is no God, and death is but an eternal nothing, I won't know nor will it make any difference. Call me strange, but I find great peace in that philosophy.